That One Time She Listened To Me

As a mom, I feel like half the time I wander around the house talking to myself.

“Pick that up,” I say to no one in particular. “Eat your food.” “Don’t put your naked butt on the table! Go get in the tub!” While I think I am saying these things to the two little termites that live in my house, it seems as though we generally find ourselves at an impasse. I speak…. and they go about their business like they are deaf.

But I know they hear me. And I know they watch me. And that fact scares the hell out of me. I am sure most moms (and dads, for sure!) can relate to that feeling you get when your three-year old spouts off something that you say all the time… it’s not always pride, my friends! Nope, I can’t think of a much more self-reflecting moment as when your child repeats some unsavory comment you made when you thought they were out of ear shot. Ooops!

We were leaving the boot store tonight when my youngest walked out the door, crossed her arms, pushed out her lower lip, and said “Come on mom. We don’t have time for this!” as we were waiting for her sister to get out of the door. Perhaps I have said that a time or two?

The Hip-Cock.

My five year old has quite an extensive vocabulary, and she uses words that most five year old’s probably don’t even hear unless they spend a month with their grandparents. She can use them in context too… but it is kind of strange to hear a kid say, “Well, evidently Grandpa thought it was a good idea, mom…”
The newest favorite saying is “That’s not fair!” To which I say, “Life ain’t fair!” I can’t wait for that one comes back around to bite me in the ass. Which it will, I know.

There is a small sense of pride that flickers in my heart when my girls say things to their dad like, “You should buy mommy flowers”  or my personal favorite, “Mom’s the boss, and you’re the Assistant Manager!” It reminds me that I’m not really a crazy woman wandering around her house talking to herself. And, it is (kind of) funny when they repeat some of the things their dad says (obviously there is a  lot they are told NOT to repeat in our house!) because the poor guy is kind of outnumbered, and feels like no one ever listens to him. So when they do, it makes me happy that they at least listen to every third thing he tries to tell them.

They listen when he tells them to “Moon Mom!”

Our girls really do say the darndest things. And have the funniest expressions, and I swear they practice their hip- cock in their sleep. Oh well… At least they are cute!




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